18 years, one day at a time…

24 Feb

All I will do is share my experience, strength and hope with you…

I have now been sober for 18 years. That means I have not used alcohol in 18 years.

I put down my last bottle of beer and I was “directed” to AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) by my creator, God on 2/24/95. I had been in AA for a few months back in 94′ after my psychiatrist “diagnosed” me (finally) as an alcoholic. However, I wasn’t done yet and relapsed until 2/24/95 when God told me to get my butt back to AA and this time STAY PUT!

And that my friends is where I have been for 18 years, in AA, apart of AA, loving AA. Using alcohol is only symptom of the disease of alcoholism. A big symptom nonetheless, but just one symptom in this fatal disease that most people still after Bill W. and Dr. Bob started AA way back 1935, simply don’t or won’t understand.

The driving force between alcoholism is thinking distortions or errors. No alcoholic (when still using alcohol) will believe they have thinking distortions, but they do. Hence, why they can’t tell you they do.

That is why I still attend and participate in AA after almost two decades, because my thinking still needs regular check-ins and check-ups. I get that at AA meetings where I believe God speaks through those at the meetings so I can hear what I need to hear, to make it another day in this very troubled world.

I was recently in a relationship with an active alcoholic. I loved her dearly but she left because I believe she wasn’t ready to give up the cunning, baffling, and powerful liquid called alcohol. I wanted so badly for her to “get it” and to stay sober with me. I saw a great life ahead for us if she did. But like millions of others of alcoholics, she wasn’t ready to surrender and get the help she needs.

I just finished watching the movie, Flight, starring Denzel Washington and Kelly Reilly. As the case in most of Denzel’s movies, it was a good one. Denzel plays a pilot who saves the day but can’t save his life until…he gets honest with himself…and that my friends, is the key, honesty. I had to get honest with myself before I could get honest with God and you. Believe me, honesty in this world is tough to come by but I have to practice it diligently or I will die and I am not ready to die yet. God isn’t through with me yet (here, that it is).

There is a great line in Flight when Denzel’s estranged, grown son asked him, who are you? And he replies, that is a good question…

As I look back on another year of sobriety in recovery, it has been another tough one (unemployment, termination, betrayal, lost love) but I am continued to be very blessed and honored to be sober today.

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3 Responses to “18 years, one day at a time…”

  1. James N. Miller February 24, 2013 at 10:08 pm #

    Congratulations! Godspeed! Honored to be your friend.

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  1. 18 years, one day at a time… | lifechangecounseling - February 24, 2013

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